Nothing New to Post....but this little tidbit...

If you are going through infertility and you get out of bed in the morning,You are doing well.

If you are going through infertility and you hold down a job,You are amazing.

If you are going through infertility and you are still remotely pleasant to others,You are a lot nicer than me.

If you are going through infertility and you go to a friend's baby shower,You are a good person, a stronger person than me, and I hope they appreciate how hard it is for you to be there.

If you are going through infertility and you cannot go to a friend's baby shower,You are still a good friend and a strong enough person to know what is best for you.

If you are going through infertility and you decide to do that first IVF,You are brave.If you are going through infertility and you decide that an IVF is not something you want to put yourself through,You are also brave.

If you are going through infertility and you decide to do "just one more treatment",You are strong and have truly inspirational perserverance.

If you are going through infertility and decide that you can no longer do this,You have the strength to know yourself and you are wise.

If you are going through infertility and you decide to adopt or use donor egg or sperm,You have an open heart and are an inspiration to others.

If you are going through infertility and decide to live child free,You know your heart and are able to open that big heart to all the children in your life.

If you are going through infertility and you cry daily,You are normal.

If you are going through infertility adn seeing pregnant women or those with babies makes you sad, angry, jealous and worse,Join the club.

If you are going through infertility and feel that your husband truly understands and is 100% supportive,He is rare and a keeper.

If you are going through infertility and you have a good support system,It will help ALOT.

Sorry that I have nothing new to report as far as the fertility stuff. We take our last hcg booster shot tomorrow evening and then I will just be waiting until Saturday to go and take the beta. I am still unsure if I really want to take it or not. I may just wait it out and see if I get my period or not. Not sure...will keep you all posted though!

Nice daycare day today. Low on kiddos and the day seemed to go smoothly thus far. I am thinking I am going to maybe take the afternoon off and head up to my bed when my afternoon assistant gets here. I am looking forward to doing that. Anyways, its nap time and 2pm. I think I will veg on the couch and doze for a bit....

Nicole

Sorry....

its been so long. Alot of has happened over the last week. I will start with Monday July 09, 2007. We went in for our ultrasound. Found out that I had one good follie at 18.9mm and another okay one at 14.6mm. The doctor suggested that it was time for a trigger shot to release the egg, but wanted us to wait until 12am midnight on Monday, so I suppose it was really Tuesday when I got the shot, which was was my 27th birthday. So anyways Floyd gave me the trigger shot at 12:07am and off to bed I went as I needed to work the next morning bright and early. On Wednesday we were scheduled for our IUI. Floyd went in early to do "his thing" and he came back and picked me up about 9:30am and we drove BACK up to Seattle for the IUI. It was done and over with within 20min. I had to sit with my hips up for about 15 to 20min and then off we went back home. Amazing parking only cost us $3.00 this time. Funny how the IUI was the fastest of all appointments up until this point! We were instructed to have intercourse again Wednesday night and everyother night following.

So today is Sunday. I guess I would be 4 days past ovulation. I am to have a trigger booster shot every 3 days. So we did on Friday night, will again tomorrow which is Monday and the last one on Wednesday evening. We will get to test on Saturday the 28th to see if I am pregnant.

I do have one simple request. Please do not ask me if I "feel" pregnant. I don't. I have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant. Nothing unsual is going on besides some twinges in my ovary area which I am told is normal.

Thanks for understanding all.....

Here is a link to a video you all may want to see. Its a short "video" of a couples struggle with infertility. http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Nicole

"It is our longing for this child that keeps us on this path to trying...."

So it's been a long time...

and I should probably update. Lots going on. Well my last 2 appointments have been good. Nothing major. My follicles are growing slowly, but they are growing. They want they to grow slow and steady and since they are we are on target. My E2 level keeps going up which is a great sign! The last week has been awfully stressful for both me and Floyd. We are driving up to Seattle every two days so I can have ultrasounds and blood work done. The drive seems so long, even though it is a long drive it seems even longer than it once was. I am on auto pilot I think. I wake, up dress, daycare kids ready for my assistants to be with, get in the car, drive, drive, drive, check in, wait, blood work (cry!), walk directly to the ultrasound room, undress, lay down, and leave...it becomes ver rutien and honestly I feel almost violated. I know its all for a wonderful cause but honestly to come in every day and undress for someone different nearly every two days to look at my "va-jay-jay" is getting to be old and tiresome. Its been emotional for me and makes me feel a little crazy in the head. But hopefully once this is all done and over with it will be worth it.

Today, Saturday July 7, 2007 we went for another ultrasound. I have 9 lovely follicles. 5 on the right side and 4 on the left side. The biggest ones being 16mm on the left and 13.5mm on the right. They need to be 18 to 21mm for us to do IUI or hope they would be ready enough to create a life. Dr. Marshall says the grow about 2mm every day so on Monday or Tuesday I should be ready for the trigger shot and then following with IUI in the next 24 hours. Its exciting! :) Our last round of fertility drugs 2yrs ago had to be cancelled due to my follies not growing and my E2 level dropping. Anyways, we will be doing an IUI sometime next week and hopefully we will test positive 2 weeks later :)

Keep you updated!

Is today day 5?

Hmmmm....somehow I think today is maybe day 4 and not 5 of injections. But I am sure I am on track. Anyways, tomorrow we have a doctors appt in Seattle for an E2 level check and ultrasound. I can honestly say I have been stressing over this and having panic attacks about this visit and each upcoming one for a few weeks now. I know weeks seem odd but when you have to plan for this kind of event its hard. It is not just financial planning to pay for the appointments, its emotional planning as well. The emotional part is so hard for me. I remember when I was younger all I wanted to be was a mom. I wanted to be a lawyer, hairdresser, teacher and all those things too but those were just side jobs, being a mom was "the job". And here I sit wondering "will that happen" ? I don't mean to discount Nathan and Breonna. I love them as if I gave birth to them. I guess what I want most now is to experience "being" a mom or maybe just the parts leading up to it. Funny how I am looking forward to waking up sick to my stomach, watching my ankles swell, wearing maternity clothing, drinking the glucose drink, and giving birth. Well, I suppose when you can't have something as easily as others you want it even more.

Okay so tomorrow is my cycle day 7 work up. I go again on Tuesday and Thursday as well as Saturday and again on Monday and then every two days or more following that. Should be interesting!

Keep ya posted when I get back tomorrow....