My Promise...

As 7 months have come and are starting to go I have thought so much about Camden and his birthparents. I worry about them, I pray for them. I pray their hearts are healing and they are doing well too.

I keep going back to the night we left the hospital with Camden in my arms. I was crying. I was crying for several reasons. I was exhasted from no sleep, stress and worry. I was feeling guilty and sad, I wanted to see his birthmom before we left and hug her and tell her how much she and he meant to not only me but whole entire family, but I just couldnt bring myself to go up there, I was overwhelemed and so in love with this little bundle, I was scared to be a new mom, I was sad for the birthparents and birth brother, I wanted *my* mom with me, our lives were about to be changed, sleep was no longer going to be in my vocabulary and overall I was just feeling heartache for Camden's birthparents.

I have made myself several promises over the last few weeks. I started making these promises and I was putting together another album for his birthfamily. These are not only promises I am making to myself but for Camden and his birthfamily. Here they are and I promise to do my very very best at upholding them:

~ I promise we will ALWAYS, no matter what, no strings attached, unconditionally LOVE Camden.

~ I promise to tell Camden how much you, his first parents, love him.

~ I promise when I tell Camden how much we love him to remind him that he was loved before we loved him.

~ I promise when he does any new firsts to kiss him twice, once from you and once from us.

~ I promise that when he hurts or makes a mistake to hold him and hug him a just a little longer and remind him he is never alone.

~ I promise to remind him he came from God's arms, to your arms and then to our arms.

~ I promise to do my best at giving him BOTH of his mother's love.

This is what I can promise and do my best to uphold.

Camden is a joy beyond words. His little face just melts my heart. Looking at him I wonder how I ever walked this life before without him. He fits in our family so perfectly. He is loved so much by not only me, his daddy, and his brother and sister but by my mom and my sisters and our friends and extended family.

I feel I have given myself a little closure in not feeling so guilty anymore, I can only do what I can do from where I am standing and that is to uphold my promises and continue to be a loving mommy to Camden, Bree and Nate...and I hope you are healing and doing well and I am here for you whenever you need.